Friday, July 12, 2013

Swimming Lessons

My biggest little man started swimming lessons this week. Real swimming lessons; Don't need mom to swim with me; I can do it all by myself; swimming lessons. I won't lie, I had to swallow my tears and dab my eyes as I watched him happily march off with his preschool swimming class and teacher. Gulp. My baby is growing up. Tear. Sniff. Sniff.

There is a certain feeling of helpless, sadness in watching your children grow. However, watching my son walk away reminds me I am doing something right. He is secure enough in himself to know he can take this next step toward independence. Besides that, he never once stopped checking to be sure I was still there! I am doing something right..roots and wings.

I am so proud of the brilliant, vivacious, funny little boy he is growing into, but I am also mourning the baby years. Lately he has been wanting me to "read" his baby book to him. I can't believe he is three and a half already! Seriously now, where does the time go!?! The passage of time is inevitable, but experiencing these little moments reminds me to slow down and enjoy the here and now becase the truth is, my babies will grow up. The truth is, they will get older. I will get older. The truth is, every moment counts, even the bad ones. The truth is, I won't enjoy the bad moments. The truth is, I do need to be thankful for and praise God for the ALL the moments I have with my children.

Fly my little man, fly!


My husband and I are currently working through a blip in our marriage. A blip, as defined by me, is not quite a bump in the road, but more like a strong pull toward the ditch, a pull that wakes you up and reminds you to keep your eyes on the road, slow down, enjoy the ride and know that there is a rest stop just ahead.

I wish that we were not experiencing this challenge right now, but I know from the past that when (not if) we make it through, we will come out stronger, better, more unified. I thank God for the gift of this challenge and the tools he is given me to overcome it. I thank God that I have a marriage worth sticking around and working for. I thank God for pushing my husband to be an honest man (though it took awhile, and hearts - specifically mine, were hurt in the process). I thank God for giving me this time to reflect on what I have done in the past to hurt our relationship as well as what I can do in the future to make our marriage stronger.

The truth is, there are blips in the road. The truth is, we are all human, and we all make mistakes. The truth is, this situation is NOT my fault. The truth is, this situation is not a reflection of my own self worth. The truth is internalizing this hurt, will only hurt me and our marriage more. The truth is, this will most certainly not be the last blip in our road.

Happy Independence Day

On Saturday, my husband was explaining to our three year old the significance of Independence Day. As my baby and I came banging out the tornado tattered (4 years ago - not recent) screen door onto the back deck, my three year old proudly proclaimed, "Mom - Independence Day means we can swing in our own backyard whenever we want," and then happily continued swinging back and forth in the blue little tikes swing in OUR backyard.


A few days later, on the actual Fourth of July...our family of four cuddled close watching the ten o'clock fireworks. The boys were dressed in their jammies and sweats with red, white, and blue glow lights adorning their necks (great idea Grammie!!) We brought the old patchwork quilt, spread it on the tailgate, and with one boy by my side, one in my lap and my hubby behind me, I thanked God for freedom.

Happy Independence Day!