Tuesday, January 28, 2014
Lines in My Hands
Last night, while encouraging my older son to share the favorite John Deere truck toy with his younger brother, this is what I heard; "But Mom, when God made me he gave me these special lines on my hands so I could play really good with this truck." Then to his little brother; "Let me see your hands. (Little brother innocently holds out his hands, palms up). Oh you have good lines too! You can play with the truck for a little bit."
I love the toddler logic and (developmentally appropriate) self-centered perception that went into this conversation. I also love the innocence with which my youngest son held out his hands seeking approval. What I love the most is how this one conversation so captures two small parts of what lies within each of us; we are all looking for that one thing that sets us apart, the one gift God choose to give us different from all the rest AND we are at the same time constantly seeking approval; Here I am, now someone tell me I am good enough!
As a mother, I find that my definition of self has become consumed by my role as a mom. I am constantly searching for the "lines in my hands" that set me apart from others. Reflecting on this though, I realize that all of the little things God put into more are what make me special. No one else in the world has the exact same parts. Being a mother or a teacher doesn't limit me any more than being short and brunette does. Being a mother, a teacher, and a short brunette is what makes me special. These qualities and more are the "lines in my hands."
The other piece of this conversation goes hand in hand with finding my lines. As an adult, as a Christian, as a mother, as a wife, as a teacher; I am constantly seeking approval. Please lord, let me be good enough, let my children think I am the best, my students, my husband, my friends, my boss, and on and on. The truth is: I am good enough because God says I am and though it is sometimes hard to believe, His opinion is really the only one that matters.
What wonderful insight from a 30 second conversation. I am blessed beyond measure!